Go Team Earth! A Non-Crunchy Earth Day Blurb

Happy Earth Day! Wednesday, 22 April. There is an illustration of a cheerleader, a megaphone, and planet earth, with smaller planets scattered about.

We root for our home state, our home team, yellow cornbread vs white cornbread. Think NY vs LA, West Coast (aka Best Coast) vs East Coast. So many worldly territorial wars that are taking place currently and throughout history.

Why don’t more people get fired up over rooting for the home turf we all share, good ol Mother Earth? Why do people proudly say “I’m a New Yorker/North Carolinian/Texan/Californian/etc”, but to say “I’m an Earthling” seems outlandish. Where’s that pride? Where’s the face paint? I wanna see jerseys, darn it!

There are millionaires wanting to flash their money around to go beyond our prized planet, but the rest of us, we’re content. Like they say, money can’t buy happiness. You’ll always want something more. Now they want to take over Twitter. Control freaks.

Let’s get back to the woman who carries us, nurtures us, keeps us grounded, and she whom we all return to when we grow old and our soul leaves our body, Mama Earth.

Here are some of the great things about Earth and why you should always root for her.

Pluto got demoted, but Earth has kept her status and on her way to a fat pension some day.

Earth has gravity, baby. She allows us to walk, do cartwheels, and we’re not floating into the abyss, trying to catch a kernel of popcorn. She benefits from gravity, too, by staying in the bowl. Kris Kross would’ve never had that first hit song, had it not been for earth’s gravity.

Earth is 70% water on the surface. Water, which helps nourish, grow, replenish, and reproduce all things on earth. I call that, ‘takin’ care of your own’.

Earth constantly spins like a giant disco ball in space.  Whatever your jam, you can dance to it while planted to the ground. What do you have to offer, Mars? A candy bar that no one likes.

Earth is habitable, dammit. She has living creatures intelligent enough to create technology, build cities, communities, and grow produce for her citizens to thrive on.

Earth has the only living creatures that have other living creatures as pets, outside of cartoons.

Earth is the Source, a High Power, or the Way – what some spiritual beliefs know closest to a god, without it being in imaginary person form, which some have a hard time accepting. There is living proof that It is reproducing, creating, evolving right in front of you. When you meditate or do yoga, it’s recommended to keep your ‘feet or sit bones firmly planted on the earth’. Just hearing the instruction, you feel comforted already.

Earth might be the same size as Venus, but Venus has no life or water, and the only accolade on it’s CV is that a razor was named after it. Pffft.

Earth is a fine piece of real estate. Close enough to the sun to get the perfect tan and not burn, while far enough from the sun to give photosynthesis to her plants without burning them to a crisp. Unless they’re light green – those you need to keep in low light conditions.

Earth is a small business owner, having employed Jupiter as her custodian, vacuuming up all the debris and junk earthlings are sending into the solar system.

Earth has good air – even on the days when your local forecast says the air quality is bad, it’s still good enough to sustain life.

There are far more reasons to cheer for planet Earth. Take a deep dive into the internet to find other amazing facts about our home sweet home. When you are finished learning, if you aren’t driving to the game with an Earth flag flying from your car window, have your face pained in earth colors with a big foam earth on your head and a foam hand with the index finger pointed up saying we’re #1, sitting in the bleachers on Team Earth’s side, then you can take your opposing planet and shove it up Uranus.


Big Role Media

Writer, storyteller, comedian, banjo picker, dog petter, potato enthusiast living in Los Angeles, CA.

Spill it, girl.

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