“You’re a sick as your secrets” – Anonymous
The Director of Risk Management at USC Keck and a Risk Consultant emailed to say that their insurance company, Beta, finds Dr. Moayer did nothing wrong. No insurance company has called, contacted, or examined me. One would assume they are basing this off the falsified records. Was not using a marker correct? Was putting a different type of graft in my nose than planned correct? Was ghosting a patient correct? Even if she had done the correct side, she still didn’t do the procedure planned.
It’s exhausting. I’m going outside of Los Angeles to get help from honest physicians, who want to help the patient, not protect colleagues. They seem baffled by the findings, and the reason I went outside of Los Angeles for help. I’ve learned to not bring my confusing Op Note that mentions left. I simply say that I had a batten graft added in December. I let them examine me and give their unbiased opinion. I now have hope, but also have fear that someone might screw up again, though I know that the majority of surgeons use a marker. If I get another surgery, I plan to mark it myself pre-operatively. It’s not fair to have distrust against other physicians, but the Moayer experience, including Dr. #1 and Dr. #2, have really shown me the dirty side of healthcare and the bigger picture of how things are swept under the rug.
The time spent, the money spent on travel, work opportunities declined and/or postponed, all while hiding under a hat, avoiding eye contact, and not sleeping well. My left nostril drips constantly from the top, and the right side is a dull ache all day. The pain is the batten graft pressing against other tissues, according to some. I push my sunglasses to the top of my nose so they don’t hit the bump/stitch on the bridge, and in public wear a mask upside down so that the metal strip doesn’t lay over it. I’m so tired of planning an outfit around what would look okay with a hat. The scarring in the right nasal passage is visible upon examination. The left nasal passage is smooth and normal inside, aside from the collapsed nostril and severely rasped down. “There’s not much left” – my last consult. The nostrils are ‘pinched’, I’m told. Some of the diagnoses vary, but every one of them agree that I would benefit from a left batten graft, the graft that Moayer was supposed to place. The only reason I had the third surgery.
If I get another surgery, the surgeon will be over 45, preferably over 50. Yes, maturity matters.’ Online reviews are a joke, making it harder to trust anyone. Google hid my reivew on Moayer, but left up the photos. Yelp sent it to the ‘Not Recommended’ area. RealSelf, which is controversial to begin with, does not allow you to search her. Her name isn’t at the top of my review, only in my text. Basically, you can say you had a bad burrito at a cafe and it can stay up, but mention wrong side surgery and it gets hidden. There are also Reddit subs, where surgeons and their team will jump in under an alias and promote how great their experience was. This information needs to get out to the public. Otherwise people will be like me, clueless, and trusting someone because they didn’t find a single bad review. I later learned that the reason she had no reviews except the auto generated USC reviews, was because she had just opened her practice. Yes, she wasn’t even seasoned enough to take on a third revision. That part is my fault. Had she done the correct side, it likely still would have been as botched as the wrong side is today.
My therapist is working with me to try going in public without a hat. That’s easy for her to say. I’ve spent a lot of time in forums with other patients who have been in my situation or worse. We all have the same trauma, fear, and isolation, with varying results. Some state after writing a bad review, a surgeon has had their attorney contact and threaten them to take it down. Or the surgeon’s office reaches out, or you’ll see the reply by the office stating that they have ‘no idea who this person is’. By the way, if you can prove what you say about someone is legit, it’s not defamation. Do not be deterred by the threats. Some patients in the forums state that their surgeons have offered to do a revision for free or a discount, though they are afraid to allow them to touch it again. Then there are the ones, like my #2, who tell them they are imaging it. Rarely do I read about the ones who react like Moayer, and ghost their patient soon after surgery.
Later I might share frontal photos of my full face, but I’m still too ashamed to show it. The real person who should feel shame when I show it, should be Roxana Moayer.
I have 17% of my sight left. I don’t want to remember myself with a C-shaped nose, when or if my tunnel closes completely. Every surgery is a risk of losing my sense of smell, which is dire for me.
From the beginning, I said I don’t want to look different. I just want to breathe. I’m not the cosmetic surgery type. I like a natural look. I’m proud to be 50. I don’t want Botox or fillers. I don’t want a different nose, boobs, chin, or butt implants. I like me just like I am. Or was. I do not look like myself when I look in the mirror now. All I see is a nose that doesn’t look like I was born this way, or even like I was in an accident. It looks like someone attempted cosmetic surgery and royally f*d up.